Sunday, January 11, 2009

Using a Drive Through Bank Machine

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 km.
27. Release Parking Brake.

6 comments:

  1. This is a generalization for females. It would only apply to blonde females.

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  2. Dad, doesn't the males go more like this?

    Drive up to cash machine.
    Roll down window.
    Realize you left wallet at home.
    Make person you're meeting pay for coffee.
    Repeat 2-3 times per six months.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You better hope Dana doesn't see this post. Oooo are you in trouble if she does.

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  4. Dad, I have NEVER done that. I always pull up perfectly to ATM thingies. So, it's highly unfair to generalize. Also, you will get your butt kicked. Tee hee.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Son - unfortunately that is the true me.

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  6. DAMN! Am I on YOUR blog or MINE? It seems a wee bit of my snarkiness is rubbing off on you and may I say, it is a wonderful improvement?

    Just so's ya'll know: I don't have an ATM card. And I'M always the one in line at Krogers behind the woman staring off in space while the total is being given to her. Then she gets this look of SURPRISE!! And only then does she start looking for her checkbook......checks at KROGERS? Easier to get a gun through the airport.

    ReplyDelete