Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Where Ah Comes Frum

After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: "California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later, "Moose Jaw Times Herald", a local newspaper in Saskatchewan reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in stubble fields near Moose Jaw, Ole Karbaluski, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Saskatchewan had already gone wireless."*

In other news, the Swift Current Southwest Booster reported that last evening in dense fog, a Cessna 185 crashed into the cemetary in Hemorrhoid about 65 km south east of the city. By sunrise, rescue teams digging frantically through the night had recovered 137 bodies and were confidant there were no other survivors. Hemorrhoid is located half way between Hazenmore and Aneroid on Number 3 Highway.

The Davidson "Halfway Home" issued a revision of last week's Police Report column. RCMP had stated that a pig farmer, Sven Svenson, from Armpit reported the theft of 2025 pigs. Further investigation revealed the man suffered from a severe lisp and the actual loss was 2 sows and 25 pigs. Armpit is located between Eyebrow and Elbow, about 53 km SW of Davidson. Davidson is home of the world's largest coffee pot and cup.

Ah, Saskatchewan, where it takes all day to go from Love to Conquest to Climax. Some days I miss it.

* with thanks to Garry for inspiration.

2 comments:

  1. I don't know if you realize how funny those jokes were but I'm here to tell you that I was reading them during the 10pm news and laughing til my abdominal muscles started hurting. Not one who likes to be disturbed during the news, Joe waited for a commercial break to ask....and I started reading. By the time I got to poor Sven and his 2025 pigs, Joe was laughing so hard that he missed tomorrow's weather.

    You're priceless and I think I'll keep you.

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  2. Thank you. This blog gives me a whole new audience for my old jokes.
    By the way, on the back of the Climax town signs, which you see as you leave town, it says "Come again."
    Truth.

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