Friday, March 26, 2010

More Dog Jokes (sent by my friend Robert)


Why All Men Should Have Dogs Instead of Wives:

  • The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
  • Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
  • Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
  • A dog's parents never visit.
  • Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  • You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
  • Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
  • A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
  • If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
  • A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
  • If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
  • Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
  • If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Dog and cat characteristics•...

  • Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
  • Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.
  • Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
  • Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
  • Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
  • Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
  • Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
  • Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work.  Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
  • Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
  • Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
  • Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

3 comments:

  1. Some great ones there. Really picked up my Saturday morning.

    I do have one cat that loves to go to the dump with me. But I can't take Stub, my three legged dog at the same time. Stub is jealous.

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  2. Dogs have owners; cats have staff. I'd rather have someone who's glad to see me than someone who will barely tolerate.

    But as good as dogs are, wives are even better. Especially if you have a great one!

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  3. Our dogs are quite comfortable with our cat but hate all other cats.

    Wives certainly are best if you have a great one.

    It is funny that so many cat characteristics are also those of women and dog characteristics those of men.

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