Saturday, January 8, 2011

LOVE, LUST AND MARRIAGE

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

LOVE - When intercourse is called 'making love.'
LUST - When intercourse is called 'screwing.'
MARRIAGE - When Intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don’t climax.
MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax?

LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, 'Hi.'
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work.

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around.
MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is your only thought.

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.

LOVE- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
LUST- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and screw.
MARRIAGE- When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.

LOVE- You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts.
LUST- You only leave the house to buy condoms and KY jelly.
MARRIAGE- You only leave the house when you're allowed.

9 comments:

  1. This tells me Tanya does not read your blog!

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  2. This tells me several other people will stop reading your blog!

    (At least I had the sense to stop reading the post half-way through.)

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  3. Oh BF: this is WAY TOO GOOD!

    (I know a Bear who would love to steal it.)

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  4. I must be in heat or something, cause lust sounds pretty good to me!

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  5. This tells me that if Tanya does read your blog you'll be sleeping on the couch.

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  6. Tanya read it and said that a good marriage was about 1/3 of each.

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  7. I will still choose marriage any day...

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  8. What is that smaltzy saying that was part of the movie "Love Story" with what's his name and what's her name? Something about "Love is never having to say you're sorry."

    Well I'm here to tell you it works in Marriage also. Only it should read, "Marriage is never having to say you're sorry because it won't do any good."

    If you are at the point of even feeling remorse, your sorry butt is already toast, so why bother? She will just pull out her book of "dates he screwed up", mark it down and then bring it up in 10 years as proof you are indeed one sorry SOB now and have always been a sad excuse for a husband. ;)

    I think this is what they call "Mature Love".

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  9. Tanya's right. Its about 1/3 of each. No complaints :)

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