Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Golf Quotes

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis
9. Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino
20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino

5 comments:

  1. I love to play golf so much. Those quotes are very nice. Thank you for this one.

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  2. A game of golf is a long walk spoiled. Which is why I no longer play the game. I prefer just the walk.

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  3. I think Jack Benny and Bob Hope's jokes were especially good.

    I've played golf a handful of times. It was OK but I didn't develop a love for the game the way so many guys do.

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  4. Didn't know you played golf Al. You must have done some playing to know the wisdom behind some of the quotes. I've seen quite a few quotes on golf-never seen most of these before. Thanks.
    To SW above. It's not only guys who love the game.

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    Replies
    1. I have played four games in my life which was three too many but I am a slow learner. Now I caddy for others if asked.
      I can see where people grow to love it though as one plays against one's self as much as anything.

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