Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Tanya-isms

Time to update on the putdowns.  Considering her English is conversation passable only, I would be afraid what she could do to me in Russian.

On the bright side, last week she threw a red bath towel into a light load of wash.  I think every husband lives for something like that as even if it is never mentioned again, the next time you do something stupid, it gives you a mental edge.
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The other night, about mid-night, I fried up some left-over spaghetti, pork and onions, coating it liberally with Thai Spring Roll Sauce and washing it down with apple juice.  Half an hour later we were lying in bed when there was a tremendous rumble of tummy...
"Is that you or me?"
"Me."
"Your spaghetti is looking for some place to spend the night."

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We have AC in the upstairs bedroom and a firm mattress in the downstairs bedroom.  Upstairs is good on hot nights so I prefer it in summer and downstairs is best for Tanya's back so she prefers it whenever possible. Last week one night she decided to sleep downstairs in spite of the heat.  She came up stairs where I was already in bed reading and yelled at me because I left the hall light on and it attracts no-see'ums. Then she went into the bathroom and came back and yelled at me for leaving the light on there too.  Then she went downstairs and went to bed.

Next morning she apologized as she had actually come upstairs to kiss me good night but by the time she was done yelling at me she had forgotten why she went up stairs.  I love being married to her.

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Yesterday we were parked by the roadside, waiting for Lina when a woman walked by in a low cut dress.  She was full busted as they say in polite company and them puppies were right up under her chin and bursting out of the top of her dress. Tanya drew my attention to them or I would have missed it completely.
I said, "She has nothing on you.  All you need is a little more support to get them up in place" and I imitated lifting something by jacking it up.  
She said "I need one of those too".   

Moral - never start with a woman.  You WILL lose.

7 comments:

  1. I hope that spaghetti was plain spag and not leftover spag covered in tomato sauce. I'm trying to imagine an already saucy spag with pork, onions AND a Thai spring roll sauce, and already my tummy is rumbling. I guess it must take a strong stomach to put up with Ukraine temperatures.

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  2. sometimes these lightning strikes seem to come out of nowhere - then you find out it is something she downloaded days or weeks ago and the opportunity just arose. It can leave us men dumbfounded.
    But we got to love them.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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  3. Awesome, BF. Awesome!

    And NEVER start with a woman. YUP!!

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    Replies
    1. Chartreuse, it was plain spaghetti.

      O'B, that may be but calling them up on demand is an art on its own.

      RB, Yup and yup!

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  4. Wow you must have an iron stomach. I couldn't eat that before bed.

    And the odd thing about long relationships is that soon you'll start answering each other without even asking a question aloud. :-)

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  5. Tanya has a multilingual sense of humour.

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