The way to a man’s heart

Grandmotherly advice to young women is “Kissin’ don’t last. Cookin’ do”, or “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. In the PI business, the way to a man’s heart is sometimes between the 4^th and 5^th rib.

Bill, the beat cop, came into my office the other day. “We might have a live one for you. A call came into the precinct office yesterday. Woman’s voice, not crazy or hysterical, but cold and flat, almost mechanical. ‘You’ll find the body alright. You won’t stop finding it. There will be pieces all over the city and for the first two months, he’ll still be alive’.

“Someone turned in an ear that they found in their doorway. DNA didn’t turn up an owner and there was no extra DNA from the perp.”

I didn’t see any money in it for me, but it did interest me. My macabre sense of humour, I guess. I asked for the details. “None. No divorce proceedings gone bad, no bitterly contested wills, no overdue loan shark accounts, no missing persons reported. All dead ends, so to speak. But someone made a bitter enemy”.

All my cases either began or ended with a woman. Or both. Remind me not to make enemies of psychopathic females. Or friends, for that matter.

“OK, what can I do to help?”

“Go fishing in the dark places only people like you or her know. Tell lies, say anything as an excuse to ask questions. Anybody sell a sharp knife lately; butcher suppliers get an unusual request, fishing stores sell a filleting knife, sharpening service get a new customer? If the cops go snooping around, people clam up. And watch your back. I don’t want to find pieces of Rick O’Shea turning up.”

No moon, heavy overcast, dark as a prosecutor’s heart and colder than a penguin’s hooha. In the wee hours of the morning, a voice called out from a dark alley, “From your questions, it appears you are looking for me? Who did you think you could fool?”

I reached under my left shoulder and pulled out a mickey of Scotch, then reached behind me and grabbed my snub-nosed .38. I had a feeling any shooting would be close range. I flung the bottle in the direction of the voice and heard it shatter on the pavement.

The shadow jumped towards me with a knife flashing. I fired twice with no effect. “Fool, you can’t kill me. I am already dead”. That left a puddle on the pavement, trust me. But I could run and I did, with the apparition close behind.

My Cub Scout Manual never prepared me for this. Vampire: garlic, cross, and stake. Werewolf: silver bullets. Guess I should have watched Ghost Busters. Then it hit me. Witches: water. Worked for Dorothy. Rain had left water in the streets, so I headed into a deep puddle.

That stopped her. Safe for the moment, I shouted, “If you are already dead, who are you chopping up?” “The man who killed me. Slowly and as a warning to other domestic abusers”.

“You won’t get any argument from me, but you better make your warnings more specific as you are just scaring hell out of people. (The ones who die go straight to heaven, but I digress). Put up a sign, buy a radio ad or a billboard.”

“Sounds like a plan. I will do that. Now go home and quit bothering me”. You have no idea how happy I was to obey.

Next day a huge billboard appeared in the middle of the city. Wording was much the same as the phone call that started all this. ‘Domestic abusers, take warning. You’ll find the body of my murderer alright. You won’t stop finding it. There will be pieces all over the city and for the first two months, he’ll still be alive’ and your turn will be next.”

 

Top Ten Country Duets My Picks

 I will put them in the order they showed up but may not necessarily agree.

I likely missed some so please add your favourites

DEI – Diversity, Equity and Inclusion

 DEI can be broken down into three pillars. 

Diversity: the presence and participation of individuals with varying backgrounds and perspectives, including those who have been traditionally underrepresented. 

Equity: equal access to opportunities and fair, just, and impartial treatment. 

Inclusion: a sense of belonging in an environment where all feel welcomed, accepted, and respected.

DEI is a lofty, worthy goal: the idea that everyone, no matter their identities and backgrounds, should have a seat at the table, be treated well, and feel like they belong and are worthy of respect and acceptance.

DEI can mean a great many things.  DEI gave women the right to vote (inclusion). DEI also means that the person most qualified is hired, instead of a mediocre white man with connections. It might be a Person of Colour, a woman, a member of the LGBTQ+ community or a combination of all three. It might even be a white man.

The Right have tried to turn the meaning on its head as Orwell illustrated in 1984 - "War is Peace". They claim a DEI Hire is a person who was not qualified but hired because they were Black.  Republicans called Kamala Harris a DEI Hire as a derogatory slur. Actually, it was true because she was the most qualified for all the positions she held (and IMHO for president as well).  Trump’s cabinet is what happens when the most qualified are fired and replaced with mediocre white men.  

After taking office, Trump issued at least 90 Executive Orders shutting down DEI programs, calling them wasteful and radical. His criteria for hiring were NOT ability to do the job but absolute loyalty to himself. Pete Kegseth fired every Black person in the military and replaced them with far less qualified white men. The top militsary brass are not well qualified and place USA in some danger. 

The modern anti-DEI backlash is really about resegregation and white supremacy.

The Battle of Borodino

 They say people who learn from history have to watch while people who do not learn from history repeat it, making the same and sometimes new errors. 

Charles XII of Sweden was the Swedish king who invaded Russia in a campaign from 1707–1709 during the Great Northern War. The invasion ultimately ended in a disastrous defeat for the Swedish army at the Battle of Poltava, and it led to the collapse of the Swedish empire and loss of its great power status. 

Hitler made the same mistake with Barbarossa. The Germans realized they could not maintain the logisitcs needed for a prolonged invasion so they simply decided they could capture Moscow by the end of September. Move the goalposts instead of dealing with the facts. 

Napoleon repeated Charkes XII mistake when he invaded Russia in 1812. He was used to rapidly marching his Grande Armee, living off the land. That worked in Europe but spelled disaster in Russia. Berlin and Prague are 500 km from Paris. Moscow is another 2000 km further. 

Russian General Kutuzov saw no need to fight as he knew Napoleon was beaten as soon as he crossed the Nieman river. Distance, disease and weather would beat him. However after the French destroyed the city of Smolensk, Kutuzov knew he had to fight as the Tsar, the Russian troops and Russia could not accept further retreat. So he picked a suitable spot just west of Moscow at Borodino and waited for the French to attack. 

Pictures from the Borodino Panarama Museum

By this time the ratio of French to Russian forces had shrunk from 3:1 to 5:4. The main part of Napoleon's army had entered Russia with 286,000 men, but by the time of the battle was reduced mostly through starvation, thirst and disease. 

The French army, led by Napoleon, won a tactical victory at the Battle of Borodino, but it was a costly and indecisive Pyrrhic victory. About 70,000 soldiers died in the battle. While the French gained control of the battlefield and forced the Russian army to retreat, Mikhail Kutuzov's forces remained intact. Russian losses could be replaced, French losses could not. The Russian Army retreated to east of Moscow and ordered the population of Moscow to evacuate eastward also. 

Napoleon entered a mostly deserted Moscow and camped. According to custom, the Tsar should now send an emmisary to sue for peace, pay a ransom and everyone go home. It didn't happen. Napoleon was left cooling his heels. There are any number of theories about how the fire started that destroyed most of Moscow but with thousands of soldiers cooking over open fires, it was inevitable. 

Winter was coming and eventually Napoleon decided to leave the city and head west. Kutuzov swung his army south, so Napoleon had to return the way he came. It was not only the winter that destroyed Napoleon's retreat from Moscow. There was no food and no forage for the horses. Men and horses died by the thousands. Of the 100 thousand that left Moscow, only about 49,000 soldiers and another 40,000 stragglers made it to the Berizina River. They were met there by the Rusian army led by Field Marshal Wittgenstein and Admiral Chichagov. 

Berezina Crossing

The battle didn't accomplish anything and the Russians let Napoleon escape with about 10,000 soldiers, thinking it didn't matter. A terrible error. It took another three years, losses of hundreds of thousands of soldiers, and the Russian army in Paris before Napoleon was finally stopped and exiled to Elba. 

Diagramatic of Napoleon's Invasion of Russia in 1812

I have read several books on Napoleon's march on Moscow and to be honest, Tolstoy's War and Peace is as good an account as any. In 2006 on my way to meet Tanya in Krasnoyarsk, I was fortunate enough to visit the Borodino panarama from which these pictures come. I also spent an afternoon in the Tretyakov Art Gallery and saw less than 10%. One needs long three days and a guide who knows the paintings.

I give up. The Firehose of Shиt is Drowning me

 

My head is so disorganized I could not trigger a drunken brawl at an Irish wake. So much stuff pouring down including Trump's shитту AI which was unnecessary as he shитs on Americans and that world every day. Telling Zelenskyy he would give Tomahawks to Ukraine and then changing his mind when Putin told him too. 

Congress shut down to avoid releasing the Epstein files, while everyone suffers since no money has been approved. Gideon J Tucker said that "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.” In that he is wrong as under the American system it doesnt seem to matter. And Trump having declared himself KING, inspite of a 7 to 8 million march, dosnt need Congress anyhow even though the Republicans would give him anything they want. Are they afraid for their lives or their livlihoods or both?

In Canada, nothing shuts down if a budget isnt passed. Money is released one quarter at a time based on the last approved budget. Right now it isnt the Canadian budget that worries me. 

It is a new Immigration Bill which essentially shuts off any hope of anyone getting Permanent Residency, possibly including my wife. I just wrote to the Minister but am afraid this is my answer. The racist xenophobic comments under any article referencing immigration tell me that Canadins approve and are no better than USians. We may have to go back to Ukraine. 

50-year immigration wait stuns lawyers and families, but IRCC says it's no mistake

The ongoing genocide in Gaza with (likely American Christian) Zionists blaming everything on Hamas. On Oct 7th Hamas tried to sieze hostages to force the Zionists to release the '000s of Palestinian prisoners they have been holding for more than 20 years, torturing and murdering. Most of the Israeli deaths on Oct 7th were caused by the IOF who set up Hamas so they had an excuse to continue their genocide. Reading the comments on Threads (I dont go near X) makes me sick at the lies being told by Zionists.

Ukrainians have to reapply for their pensions as those in temporarily Russian occupied territories also get Russian pensions which they weer forced to apply for. There is a link to follow to reapply but everytime Tanya gets to a certain point, it kicks her off line. Must have been designed by Immigration Canada.

Cold nights now but no snow yet. It reached 5C today. We dress warm when walking Lucky. Today we walked through the Nutana Cemetery which is the oldest in Saskatoon. The first person buried there died in 1883 in a blizzard. Many of the graves have been moved as the bank near the river is unstable. Tanya was interested in the grave stones. Lucky was not. 

Halloween is coming and rumours have it we will get from 80 to 120 kids. The way the houses are decorated I believe it. We have a solitary pumpkin which I will carve closer to the date. Tanya is not a believer in Halloween even though it is catching on in Ukraine. 

I miss Jackiesue (Yellow Dog Granny) who passed away in February 2025. She was a nationlal treasure and a Blue thorn in the side of Red Texas. These memes are for her.

Lucky-isms

 Our GSD Lucky whom we brought from Ukraine in the fall of 2022 gives our lives some meaning outside of ourselves. He answers to Lucky, Doofus, and Bud. Some days he is a sweetheart and somedays a total Richard Cranium. 

He does his best to love Tanya and I equally. I walk him. Tanya feeds him, opens the door for him at midnight and six am, gives him his meds when necessary and worrys about him constantly. He has a big dog bed and will use it in day time when we are up and about. At night, He sleeps on my carpet some of the time. My son in law put LED lights under my bed so I dont step on him when I get up in the dark. 

Most times he sleeps in Tanya's room (I am a night hawk) either on the carpet or in her bed. (She has a queen, I have a twin). But he will come in a few times in the night to chack on me. If I am awake I will give him pets and back/hip massage. Then he may collapse on my carpet or go back to Tanya's room. 

Tanya will often be on her phone, checking news from Ukraine or texting her sister/friends. When Lucky wants to sleep it needs to be dark so he pokes his nose under her phone and flips it up, signalling time to shut it down.

He gets a denta-stick every morning. The other morning Tanya forgot so he dug into his box and got one out on his own. He knows the routine. Otherwise he never goes near his treat box. He's not very food oriented. Except for my bacon at breakfast and meat from our plates any other time.

One day Tanya gtd him some sausage out of the fridge. He lay in front of the fridge staring longingly at it with his sad brown puppy eyes. No luck.

I discovered he likes Dad's oatmeal cookies. so do I. Tanya bought generic oatmeal cookies at the grocery store. Dryer and not as sweet. He ate a few and then if I gave him one, he would take it and give it to Tanya. 

When we are eating he will come and mooch, knowing we usually share. If he has no luck with one of us he will try the other person. To make him go away we offer him something he hates, like broccholi. He goes off in a huff and eats his dry food. 

He also eats his dry food if Tanya gets the vacuum out. I guess he worries she will clean out his dish. He has a dish used to slow down dogs who inhale their food. It gives him a challenge is all I can say. We are old and boring, not up to mentally challenging a GSD with the intelligence of a 3 year old. (He and my grandson are intellectual equals???) Well, my grandson did get written up in Play School for disobedience.

When we moved from Regina to Saskatoon two months ago, he was very unsure about the whole thing. We put out his dog bed; he lay on it for a minute and was good to go. If the bed is here then this is home. 

Like any middle aged male (6 years old is about 42 in human years) he has suddenlky developed prostate problems. The vet said that neutering him would cause the prostate to shrink and pretty much disapper. Tanya wondered if that would solve my prostate problems too and could she get a two for one deal at the clinic. 

Thoughts on turning 78 years old

 

There are two sayings regarding aging. "Every day above ground is a good one". That is an outright lie.

The other is "May you live as long as you want to and want to as long as you live". I like that one as it gives a person some agency. My Mom's youngest cousin on her mother's side battled cancer until she got tired of it and opted for MAID at 89. 

My maternal grandfather died at 83 of a heart attack; my mother at 81 of same. I have no cardiac problems at all (touch wood). 

My maternal grandfather died at 90 of old age. Went to sleep and didn't wake up. My maternal grandmother died at 95 but the last 5 to10 years were not kind to her as she had extreme dementia. I worry about that. The bag has a hole in it and my marbles are falling out. I have an appointment with a gerentologist to determine how many  I have left. 

In the scheme of things, I have lived a long time. Perhaps I will see 90, perhaps more but will settle for 90. I have seen a great deal as has anyone my age that didn't stay home. I cannot count how often I moved after I left home at 17. Friends of mine have seen far more countires than I have but I needed someone to pay my way. 

In Ukraine one of my favourite walks was through the cemetery a few blocks north of us. Most men died in their 60s. Only women, no men that I found, lived to their 90s. I used to think about what a Ukrainian woman born in 1903 saw in her 90 year lifetime and wondered how they lived through it. "You can be born in the Austro-Hungarian empire, educated in Poland, married under the Third Reich, work and retire in the USSR and draw your pension in Ukraine and never have left L'viv".

Now I look back at my life and am thankful for all I have seen and done. Who knows where the time goes?