Remembering the Farm: Bob and Millie Graham, neighbours, friends and second parents

 A few years ago my brother sent me a picture from a newspaper article that showed aerial photos of two farmsteads, likely taken in the early 60s. One was obviously prosperous, buildings painted, yard neatly trimmed. The other looked anything but prosperous. It made me sad because I knew that yard as well as our own. It was the farm yard of our closest neighbours, dearest friends and second parents to us four kids. They were not rich in material goods but rich in the things that really counted: love, patience, honesty, kindness, and happiness.

Graham's farm yard in the early 60s. The house is gone now, burned down a few years ago.
What other buildings are left I do not know

Aunt Millie and Uncle Bob Graham, as we kids called them, lived 3/4 of a mile from us by road or a little more than half a mile if we walked across country, which we often did. They farmed two quarters of land, their home quarter being just east of our home quarter and the other being just south of our home quarter. For a long time, 40 acres of the home quarter was in pasture for a couple of milk cows and a team of chore horses. They always kept pigs which did very well for them. On that small amount of land they raised two daughters and farmed until they retired in the early 1970s to a small house in Wilkie.

Uncle Bob and Aunt Millie married in 1932. Their oldest daughter, Sadie, was born in 1935 and will be 86 this year (or 1934 and will be 87). When I first walked over to Grahams, Sadie was 17 and driving her parents Model A; I was coming 5 in the fall. I made her drive me home because I was too tired to walk back. Their youngest daughter, Mary, was born in 1937. Mary's wedding was the first wedding I ever attended and of course was quite curious about the whole thing. 

Uncle Bob (Robert) was the middle son of Archie and Margaret Graham, younger than Tom and John of whom I wrote last time, and older than Clarence and Clive. He was born in Scotland in 1907 and came with his family to New Brunswick. He came west a couple of times on the harvest excursion trains in the early 20s and when his family moved west he bought a farm close to my Grandparents Hingston. My dad was just a young teenager. He remarked that he did not quite understand Uncle Bob's excitement when he would announce the births of their babies. He learned in a few years when his own were born.

The farm equipment was by necessity small. I remember a 6' tiller, a John Deere clipper combine and a small Cockshutt tractor. Not sure of the number but about 30 drawbar horsepower. They drove a 1953 Ford pickup which was kept in a garage and never out in the weather. On the north side of the garage was a pump house and an ice well. The ice well was magic to a small boy. On a hot July day it kept food cool and miraculously yielded up home made ice cream from time to time.

Aunt Millie was a marvelous cook. Her Scottish shortbread, made only at Christmas was the best I ever tasted. She even made doughnuts which she shared with mooching little kids. She loved flowers and her front garden was always blooming with petunias. She had a set of hooks made from buck rake teeth welded to a centre post that always had pots of flowers hanging from it. Uncle Bob loved to tease, especially about the size of my feet. He said the only way I could get boots to fit was put my feet against a steer's rear end, grab his ears and peel the hide off backwards. I had a pair of enormous fleece lined army surplus flight boots for walking over there in winter. He warned me that if one of them ever got turned north I'd sure be in a bad way.

They had TV and we did not. A 50' antenna was needed to pick up the one station. Uncle Bob was an avid hockey fan and Saturday nights if we visited as a family, which we often did, we'd watch Foster Hewitt calling Hockey Night in Canada, followed by Juliette. Friday nights was The Flying Doctor, about an Australian bush pilot doctor. Sundays we would come over in the afternoon to watch Lassie and sometimes Robin Hood. For a few winters, CFQC TV every Saturday morning ran old classic movies. We were not allowed to go to shows but when Grahams suggested we watch these movies on TV, Dad figured they should be OK. I still love the classics like Robin Hood, National Velvet, My Friend Flicka, and Treasure Island. 

I followed baseball, especially the Yankees, and in summers, sometimes I would be given time off to walk over to Grahams and watch the baseball game on Saturday morning. There were 16 teams in those day and I knew most of the players. While we tried not to be a nuisance or get in the way, I am sure we tried their patience from time to time as we hung out at their place as often as we could. 

Dad bought a couple of black mares, full sisters, 1 and 2 years old, American Saddle Horse and Standardbred cross. They were for light chores but mostly because dad knew I wanted a real horse to ride, not just old plugs. Uncle Bob had a saddle which he loaned me. I was so excited. A real western saddle. And spurs. I used the spurs once but had read that unless you were skilled in the use of spurs you were better without them so I cleaned them up and hung them up. The loans were on condition that when I was through with them the saddle and spurs should go to his grandson Michael. Eventually they did.

A very comfortable ride

Aunt Millie and Uncle Bob allowed themselves one luxury and that was tobacco. Players Old Navy which came in cans. They had a little machine that made professional looking cigarettes and eventually even with filters. It caught up with Uncle Bob, who was diagnosed with lung cancer shortly after they retired. He spent some time at the Cancer Clinic in Saskatoon when I was a student in the mid-late 70s. I went up to visit him almost every noon hour. He was transferred back to Wilkie Hospital and when Bronwyn was born in 1976 we took her to the window of his room so he could see her. He passed away in 1977 at age 70. 

Aunt Millie lived a few more years in Wilkie then moved to Glaslyn to be close to her daughter Sadie. Aunt Millie passed away in 1992 at the age of 82. My dad was honoured to speak of his memories of the Grahams at her funeral. 

My brother Ross with Aunt Millie possibly early 1980s

If one thing could be said for Aunt Millie and Uncle Bob it was that they endured. They walked the talk. They suffered more than their share of hardships and heartaches that are someone else's story to tell, but they never complained and cheerfully faced each day as it came. My siblings can and should write their own memories. The Grahams left a legacy in the hearts of the four Hingston kids that I hope is some way reflected in our own lives from time to time.