My late Uncle Vince was a master story teller and the Shaggy Dog story was his forte. For the uninitiated, a Shaggy Dog story, as I know it, is a long, usually boring windup with a very bad pun as a fast breaking punch line. They usually need to be told, not read. Uncle Vince's stories were so long you wanted to shoot him to finish them and the punch lines so bad, you wished you had shot him. This particular story, much abridged, was one of his.
A brown bear walked into the bar in Brock and ordered a beer. The bartender said "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock".
The next several minutes of story can be inserted as you wish, but no matter how hard the brown bear pleads his case, the answer is always the same. "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock".
Finally the brown bears snaps. He has had it. "You see that woman sitting at the end of the bar? If you don't give me a beer, I will devour her!" The bartender says, "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock".
The brown bear roars at the woman, kills her with a blow from his paw and proceeds to munch her down. He comes back to the bartender and says "NOW, GIVE ME A BEER". The bartender says, "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock and we definitely don't serve drug addicts".
"Drug addict? What are you talking about?", says the brown bear.
"That was the barbituate".
A brown bear walked into the bar in Brock and ordered a beer. The bartender said "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock".
The next several minutes of story can be inserted as you wish, but no matter how hard the brown bear pleads his case, the answer is always the same. "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock".
Finally the brown bears snaps. He has had it. "You see that woman sitting at the end of the bar? If you don't give me a beer, I will devour her!" The bartender says, "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock".The brown bear roars at the woman, kills her with a blow from his paw and proceeds to munch her down. He comes back to the bartender and says "NOW, GIVE ME A BEER". The bartender says, "No, sorry. We don't serve beer to brown bears here in the bar in Brock and we definitely don't serve drug addicts".
"Drug addict? What are you talking about?", says the brown bear.
"That was the barbituate".
Shaggy Dog stories were great. I think we've lost our attention span-even jokes have to be short and sweet. There's not enough characters in a tweet to be a shaggy dog story.
ReplyDeleteThere is a time and place for all kinds of jokes. Shaggy dog stories are for family gatherings and such when people have time.
DeleteAaaaagh!!!! *runs screaming from the room, laughing and holding her nose*
ReplyDeleteOh, goody. Gotcha!
Delete