I LOVE MY JOB
This is even funnier when you realize it's
real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this
guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below...
~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I
wear a suit to the office.
It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done.
In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as
fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but
my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two
days because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your
ass.