Over the years, people have suggested on more than one occasion that I didn’t know Jack Schidt. That is totally untrue. I have been up Schidt Creek many a time and over the years met the entire Schidt family.
Jack is the only son of O. Schidt and Awe Schidt, of the Rural Municipality of Schidt Creek, Saskatchewan. O. Schidt. the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schidt, the owner of Kneedeep Schidt Inn, a crappy little bed and breakfast which she closed shortly after her marriage.
In turn, Jack Schidt married Noe Schidt and the couple produced six children. Their oldest daughter was very religious and is now Sister Holy Schidt. Their other five children are two sons, Deep Schidt and Dip Schidt, the twin girls, Fulla Schidt and Giva Schidt and the youngest, an afterthought, Bull Schidt.
Against her parents objections, Dip Schidt married his second cousin, Loada Schidt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schidt. Deep Schidt also married his second cousin, Dumb Schidt, a high school drop out. They had three children, Dawg, Byrd and Horace. The oldest boys, Dawg and Byrd are dating the Rhea sisters, Diar and Gonor.
After being married for 15 years Jack Schidt’s business was wiped out and he and Noe Schidt divorced. Noe Schidt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her youngest kids were living with them at the time, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schidt-Sherlock.
Fulla Schidt and Giva Schidt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schidt-Happens wedding. They created a bumper sticker and made millions. You have probably seen it.....
Bull Schidt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Pisa Schidt. They are now expecting Baby Schidt.
So the next time someone tells you The Blog Fodder doesn’t know Jack Schidt, you can set them straight.
Excellent! I once fooled around with Croc F. Schidt. Any relation? His sister, Ibee, married Tu Faced. Last I heard Ibee Schidt-Faced was in rehab. (heh).
ReplyDeleteHey Fodder i know the Schidt family too; small world eh! Just got the birth announcment from Bull and Pisa Schidt; they had twins - Yura and Ima and alls well at that end.
ReplyDelete"What Goes In, Must Come Out...Choose Wisely" is the motto of all Schidt family members.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for adding to the genealogy of the Schidt Family. I should have known they would have all the details on file in SLC. Twins seem to run in the Schidt family.
ReplyDeleteDana, I thought their family motto was "When the Schidt hits the fan, it is not evenly distributed".
This item speaks volumes about both the flexibility of the English language and our cultural fascination with all things scatological.
Well done, but I was scared Schidtless I was going to die laughing before I finished reading it.
ReplyDelete