My thanks to Ken McDonald for these.
2.Law of Gravity
3.Law of Probability
4.Law of Random Numbers
6.Law of the Bath
8.Law of the Result
11.The Coffee Law
14.Law of Logical Argument
18.Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
1.Law of Mechanical Repair
- After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin
to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity
- Any
tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability
- The
probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity
of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers
- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation
Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath
- When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters
7.Law of Close Encounters
- The
probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when
you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result
- When
you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics
9.Law of Biomechanics
- The
severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena
10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena
- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the aisle, always arrive
last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for
food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance
or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never
move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end
of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11.The Coffee Law
- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers
- If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will
have adjacent lockers.
13.Law of Physical Surfaces
13.Law of Physical Surfaces
- The
chances of an open- faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14.Law of Logical Argument
- Anything
is possible, IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance
15. Law of Physical Appearance
- If
the clothes fit, they're ugly.
Law of Public Speaking
Law of Public Speaking
- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
- As
soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making
it OR the store will stop selling it!
18.Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
the head bolt on my motorcycle engine in never quite tight enough until the last turn of the ratchet snaps it.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
Corollary to Laws #1 and #2: Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped while I'm working on a vehicle, will vanish into the black hole that exists directly underneath the engine compartment. Even if there is an unobstructed path down to the garage floor, the item will vanish, never to be seen again.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong when Mr. Murphy is away from home.
ReplyDeleteYou read it here, first. (I also lie a lot.)
Blessings and Bear hugs.
Murphy was an optimist.
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard I was depressed by the truth of these!
ReplyDelete