More Dog Jokes (sent by my friend Robert)

Why All Men Should Have Dogs Instead of Wives:

• The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
• Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
• Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
• A dog's parents never visit.
• Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
• You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
• Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
• A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
• If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
• A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
• If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
• Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
• If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Dog and cat characteristics•...

• Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready.
• Dogs look much better at the end of a leash.
• Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life.
• Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
• Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.
• Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap.
• Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all.
• Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work.  Cats will be mad that you went to work at all.
• Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away.
• Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes.
• Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.