A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
A 's for arthritis;
B 's the bad back,
C 's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T 's for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round?
W for worry, now what's going 'round?
Y for another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
Keeping 26 doctors employed is an expensive proposition. Or have you been propositioning some of them (the female ones)?
ReplyDeleteWell, when "O" didn't stand for orgasm, I sorta lost hope that "S" would stand for sex, but I still hoped it would. The question then becomes whether it is too much to hope for some kind of life beyond doctor's appointments. Some weeks, I don't know.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you - see L above.
ReplyDeleteThat's an "L" of a comment.
ReplyDeleteI stand by my statement, er, question.
I asked my Dr about Viagra and he said there was no point putting a new flag pole on a condemned building.
ReplyDeletea condomed building?
ReplyDeleteViagra has been responsible for deaths in the US. -insert witty comment-
unfortunately, viagra doesn't bring back libido, it only brings up muscle tissue. try Maca, or cinnamon buns. (now that i'm not working at a health food store, i need to tell someone what to take)
A condomed building?
ReplyDeleteHow suitable for the Blog Fodder!
PN - all this knowledge of Libido, is that why your husband refers to you as PN-o?
ReplyDeleteCinnamon buns? Now I could get passionately excited about cinnamon buns.
I can buy cinnamon here in sticks but can't find it in a powder form. How does one convert it? Once the girls get here we'll at least have brown sugar again.