Thursday, April 16, 2009

Procedures (Protsidoori) 3

Cleansing of the Lower Bowel – The notion that the body is full of “poisons” elicits little puppy wiggles and goose bumps of anticipation from the naturopathetic homeopathological granola-munching, fibre-obsessed herbivorous crowd. And they have positively organic orgasms at the word CLEANSING followed either by the words BLOOD or BOWEL. This in spite of the fact there is no sound scientific evidence of any “poisons” in a normal functioning human, that the cleansing actually removes anything measureable and that the process has any effect on health or longevity. I passed* this four day procedure. Besides with friends like mine, who needs enemas?

Mary had a little watch. She swallowed it one day. She took a dose of Epsom salts to pass the time away.

6 comments:

  1. I was cornered at church one day by a woman self-named LADY EAGLE who claimed healing powers due to her indian (feather not dot) heritage. She sells all kinds of natural healing potions.....it's a shame non of it combated her Hepatitis C.

    ANYWAY, she was telling me that she could look at my eyes and see all kinds of poisons in my large colon and that if I would allow her to cleanse my bowel, I'd be BOISTEROUS and healthy.

    I let her finish hanging herself before I said "Hmmmmm. That's weird. I had my large colon surgically removed 20 years ago."

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  2. You sure she was looking into your eyes Dana?

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  3. HI,

    I am going to visit Truskavet next week, your blog is very useful to me :).
    But where do you get Internet connection? I heard they don't have it at the spa.

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  4. You're right Blog Fodder -- your friends already know you're full of s**t. Glad you've got a doctor who's helping you deal with that. Hopefully on a permanent basis.

    As for Mary and her watch, that one just about rocked me off my chair. That's right up there with Mary having a little lamb and old McDonald having a farm. Must remember this "timely" comment.

    Also glad to know that you're surviving this ancient for of Soviet torture. And Tanya led you into this?

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  5. Moldova: There is a UkrTelekon wifi spot at the post office.
    Dana: don't you just love those folks with their magical cures?
    Rob: My eyes are blue again.
    Demuer: Where do you think she was looking?

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