Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Woman to Spend a Lifetime With*

What kind of woman would I want to spend the rest of my life with?

  • Well, she would have to be very special as she would also want to spend the rest of her life with me, not an easy thing to ask of any woman.
  • She will be a strong independent woman, but not so strong or independent that she doesn't need me for the something that I bring to her life that makes her feel complete. I do not know what that something is but she (whoever she is) will know. Maybe it is humour, maybe gentleness, kindness, shelter from the world that she can come to when the world is too much for her to bear. Maybe it is firmness, someone who will stand up to her and not be pushed around by her.
  • She needs to be someone strong enough not to let me push her around either. Temper is OK as long as we can yell at each other then forget it when the storm is over. Passionate, emotional, alive.
  • Well read in subjects which interest her. Curious and interested in what is going on in the world - politics, current events - and who wants to travel and learn about other places and people.
  • Cynical yet wishing and hoping the world could be perfect. Someone driven by a desire to leave the world a better place than she found it by doing something that helps others grow strong and learn to help themselves.
  • A "people person", generous with her time and as finances allow, with money too. A home that is open to any and all. Lots of visitors around the table. Spare beds for adults, and kids sleep on the floor.
  • Someone who loves kids, dogs and me. Expects the best from all of us and helps kids, dogs and me to be better than we are. Patient and forgiving with my weaknesses but expecting me to grow stronger with her help.
  • An organizer who will keep me organized; who believes in me when I don’t believe in myself; who can balance encouragement with butt-kicking and knows when to apply each.
  • Someone who will accept 40 “I love you”’s a day and 40 hugs too. Someone who will give them back without prompting, who will reach over and take my hand for no reason, because I need the reassurance and the touch of one I love who loves me.
  • Someone I am proud to be with and who is proud to be with me.

    *When Tanya and I first started talking about possibilities for the two of us, she asked me to tell her what I was looking for in a wife. She wrote what she was looking for in a husband. We had the documents professionally translated by her friend Natalie and exchanged them by email. After almost two years, I have to say, I found what I was looking for. And much much more.

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