House Cleaning on Valentine's Day

Tanya says she is going to write a blog about how she spent Valentine's Day cleaning house.  Yesterday and today were serious cleaning days.  The regular biweekly once-overs were no longer sufficient so it was all out war on dirt.  How can a house get so dirty with only two people living in it and a damp climate that should keep dust to a minimum?

Day one, my job was cleaning my bathroom upstairs.  Cleaning toilet, sink and mirror was no problem.  No was the white base on the shower.  But the calcium deposits or whatever stick to the shower doors like s--t to a blanket.  I have never been happy with how clean the shower was.  The cleaner we use is NOT Fantastic by any stretch.  I asked Tanya and she came in and grabbed the Johnson brand toilet duck and a rough sponge and presto clean shower doors.  Who knew?  She says you need to wear gloves with it because her hands were sore after.  She started using it in her bathroom for cleaning tub, toilet and sink.

Today was downstairs.  I stayed out of the way while she did the kitchen (I help best there when I don't help), then when she started the living room, I said, "I feel bad I am not helping".  She said "I figure you feel pretty good not helping".  "OK, I feel guilty not helping" and she set me to work with detailed instructions of what and how to do as she needed. Which is how I like it.

Now here is some advice for both wives and husbands on husbands doing household chores. I have harped on this before.  Women love to complain that their husbands don't do their share of work around the house.  If the husbands are not the irredeemably old fashioned European types who expect their wives to wait on them hand and foot, there is some chance of getting them to do much more than they now are IF they get the right signals.  It is the old Mars vs Venus thing again.  Men love to help BUT...

Wives, if you want him to help, ASK and then give specific tasks.  Don't expect him to "see what needs doing and then do it".  Most husbands assume the house is "yours" the same way you may assume the garage and workshop are "his".  Men don't help other men unless they are asked because it is seen as interference. If you need help, they expect you to ask.  If your husband suddenly starts doing the laundry are you going to be thrilled or are you going to take it as a sign that he is dissatisfied with how you are doing it?  If you start cleaning up his garage and workshop without being asked, trust me it will most likely NOT be taken kindly, so understand he is not going to butt into "your" business unasked.

Husbands, ASK your wife if you can help and ask for specifics.  She is not going to ask you to help because for a woman having to ask means you don't love her.  Watch another woman, a long time friend, in your wife's kitchen, helping her put the meal on the table.  She may ask "can I help you" but after that the work related instructions are pretty minimal.  Your wife expects that from you and for most males it is close to impossible, so you have to ask and ask for specifics.

A few other comments for good measure.  Husbands, have you ever offered to cook supper and had your wife stand over you and micromanage the whole thing, criticize you constantly because you aren't doing it how she would do it?  Or have you ever done something around the house only to have your wife do it over again because it wasn't up to "her" standards? And then wonder why you don't "help out" in the house?

If, in the previous paragraph, you can substitute wife for husband and husband for wife and add "but expect you to keep cooking, cleaning, etc. regardless of the criticism", may I suggest either a good lawyer or a Smith and Wesson. 

Now I expect some female is going to weigh in on how things are supposed to be and how "helping" around the house is soooo sexist but I am trying to deal with how things are.