From Real Christmas Letters We Got

Dear Friends,

Just a note to bring you up to date on all the important happenings in our home last year. 1986 has been quite a year. The cedar tree in front of the dining room window died. We painted the back fence after we cut the grass. Bron’s bicycle got a flat tire. Mom oiled the sewing machine.

Some exciting things on the political scene. Last Saturday we almost saw Mayor Schneider. We were at Sears and I guess his Worship had been there the day before. Wow!

We celebrated an important birthday and anniversary too. Mozart would have been 230 years old – if he had lived. Agribition finished its 16th year. Ky went with her class. She saw a cow.

We have all been reasonable healthy and happy this year. Sometimes we are well. Other times we are sick. We floss regularly.

The newspaper landed in the bushes twice, but we got it out. Good thing Lyn is small. We made her crawl under the bush and get it out.

There is a new Shell station going up at the corner of Albert and Gordon. It’s a self-serve kind with a food store. There has been a lot of talk about eating and getting gas.

The other night we went to Smitty’s. We all had pancakes. Except Mom. Women’s Lib is going to ruin the country.

We’re getting a goldfish for a pet this Christmas. Son says it is so fun to watch it swim around and look out at you. And if not, you can always flush it down the toilet.

It has been a warm fall. Sometimes we watch TV. Sometimes we don’t.

Now must go shovel the walk. It looks like it might snow tonight.

Merry Christmas
Dad, Mom and the kids

P.S. Mom weeded the garden twice in June.

This letter is a parody of bits and pieces of letters we had received over the years. Ella saved the choice bits and one Christmas wrote this killer piece.