Doctor's notes
These are doctors' notes on patients' charts: (Actual notes - unedited!)
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (ouch!)
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
My friend Robert on Vancouver Island sent me these. They were forwarded to him while he was on his way to a DR appointment. Confidence building, aren't they?
Like the grand piano was played by a man, with three legs?
ReplyDeleteMisplaced modifiers and other "out of sync" notes — ya gotta wonder.
Good timing. I'm going to copy these and take them to my Dr. today. Should just make his day.
ReplyDeleteHey guys I'm not for certain if this is the sound forum to send this, but I am having some legitimate difficulty learning dating chinese women I look over dating chinese women[url=http://www.zimbio.com/how-to-meetagirlnow55/articles/gCAgdz1PRLn/Answers+How+meet+girl+facebookalready+used
ReplyDeletedating chinese women [/url] that article, but it as a matter of fact didn't look as if to give to me alot of sentiment to me. Can someone please serve me? It's so hard to convene the chick of my dreams.
This magazine article wasn't coherant to read
Ideas on How to meet Women on the Mall
If you are usually a single guy and aren't the preferred at getting a lot of much less meeting ladies and are wondering wherever you could head to acquire and deal with a girlfriend, then these ten reasonable ideas on how to fulfill a woman along at the local mall, might come in mighty handy.
1 - Go for the food court. Believe it or not, the food court is the absolute finest area inside the mall to satisfy a young lady. Here's what you do. Choose a meals put and get in line for your meal. Though you happen to be in line, glance all-around the region wherever anyone is sitting down and eating. Look and feel to get a girlfriend seated alone, as well as two women seated together. When you've got your meal in hand, walk more than to somewhere she or they can indeed be sitting down and talk to if you’re able to join them. If you are truthful and straightforward with them, your odds are fairly excellent.
2- Do some considering. Just before you even give thought to heading to your shopping mall to satisfy a young girl, sit on your own down and do some severe considering. Check out how you might match a young lady and what you might say to her if you might be prosperous. Take into consideration which components belonging to the mall you'd probably stop by. Also, you are likely to should purchase one thing whereas there, what do you need? Eventually, give some thought to what meeting a young lady in a public area entails. Definitely you can expect to should look for the wedding ring in advance of speaking to a gal, and you will be required to ponder if it is wiser to speak to some female alone or one particular who's with other people. In conclusion, you are likely to have being practical about your own age and the ages on the lady you would like to fulfill. As in, you're likely to should inform your self to become reasonable and do not test to satisfy girls which are very much younger or older than you're the one, or that look out of the league.
3 - Request help. The moment you were ultimately for the mall, one particular on the tactics to satisfy women is by asking them for advice. Females understand that males have no notion what they're just carrying out once they are purchasing, so asking for help out will not seem such a ridiculous concept. Request help out in picking out a jacket for by yourself for example. Accomplishing so let's the woman know which you are single. If she agrees to help you, find out her other queries as you grab completely different jackets to have a go with on.
Hey guys I'm not for certain if this is the best place to send this, but I am having some legitimate strife learning dating chinese women I saw dating chinese women[url=http://howtomeetagirlnows174.wetpaint.com/
dating chinese women [/url] that internet site, but it actually didn't appear to give to me alot of substance to me. Can someone please assist me? It's so impregnable to meet the sexy women of my dreams.