Wednesday, March 11, 2009

God Bless Texas

The following are actual quotes from Texas politicians sent to me by my friend Sandy. The only name I recognized was Jim Hightower who was Texas Agricultural Commissioner some 30 years ago. He does have a way with the English language.

Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury: “It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket.”
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower: “Ain’t nothin’ in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheel chairs: “And now, will y’all stand and be recognized?”
A. C. Greene: “Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one.”
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish: “Oh good. Now he’ll be bi-ignorant.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced: “I’d just make a little bit of money, I wouldn’t make a whole lot.”
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush’s policies: “If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin’ rights on that man’s head.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing: “I move we recess to go outside and throw up.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis: “There’s a lot of uncertainty that’s not clear in my mind.”
Don Rottenberg: “There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information.”

2 comments:

  1. Oh, th wonderful things you can do with (I mean "to") the English language.

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