Wednesday, March 11, 2009

God Bless Texas

The following are actual quotes from Texas politicians sent to me by my friend Sandy. The only name I recognized was Jim Hightower who was Texas Agricultural Commissioner some 30 years ago. He does have a way with the English language.

Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury: “It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket.”
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower: “Ain’t nothin’ in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheel chairs: “And now, will y’all stand and be recognized?”
A. C. Greene: “Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one.”
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish: “Oh good. Now he’ll be bi-ignorant.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced: “I’d just make a little bit of money, I wouldn’t make a whole lot.”
Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush’s policies: “If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin’ rights on that man’s head.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing: “I move we recess to go outside and throw up.”
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis: “There’s a lot of uncertainty that’s not clear in my mind.”
Don Rottenberg: “There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information.”


  1. Oh, th wonderful things you can do with (I mean "to") the English language.


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